


long i stood

by pasdela



Category: Persona 5
Genre: ... sort of, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Implied Relationships, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Post Third Semester (Persona 5), superfrog saves tokyo au, yes this is my 2/2 fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasdela/pseuds/pasdela
Summary: Ren found a giant frog waiting for him in the attic."There's no need to be overwhelmed," said the frog.After nearly a year of Metaverse nonsense, prolonged eye contact with a giant frog barely made it into the top ten.In which Ren talks to a giant frog, and Goro waits for him to make a decision.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	long i stood

**Author's Note:**

> _And sorry I could not travel both  
>  And be one traveler, long I stood  
> And looked down one as far as I could  
> _  
> — Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken"

Ren found a giant frog waiting for him in the attic. It loomed over him on its hind legs, and all other means of description escaped him as he stared up at its face. He took a second to peer around its massive limbs—just to check if there was anything left in the room that _ wasn't  _ a frog.

"There's no need to be overwhelmed," said the frog.

Ren was going over his options. ‘Being overwhelmed’ was nowhere among those listed.

In his brief investigation, he had discovered that the rest of the room was untouched, albeit mildly slimy in places where the frog had made contact. Still, his bed sat in its usual corner atop its usual crates, and Ren was already making plans to reunite with it.

"Call me 'Crow,'" said the frog, which had definitely remained a frog, and hadn't turned into a bird when Ren wasn't looking.

There was a choice to be made here, though a number of them involved levels of SP that Ren simply did not have. It had been a long day, and he was running far below the amount needed to figure out why Maruki had decided that a giant frog was necessary for his ideal reality.

"I imagine it must be quite a shock to see me here," said Crow.

Ren considered this.

He had encountered a great many things deep in the recesses of his mind. Some more... phallic, than others. At this point, a giant frog was just another page in the compendium.

He told the frog as much. "I'm used to it."

"In that case," said Crow. "Please, take a seat."

Ren almost wished this was a prank. He stared at the couch—the room’s only available seating choice, thanks to the massive frog hunched over in the middle of it. But in all actuality, even this wasn't true, as the path to the couch was currently being blocked by a giant leg.

Was it okay for Crow to be standing up like that? He thought he had read somewhere that you shouldn’t place frogs in unnatural positions for prolonged periods of time. Though if the frog positions themself… Either way, he wasn’t an anthropomorphic talking frog. He probably shouldn’t pry.

"Um," Ren said instead.

Crow awkwardly shuffled to the side, settling down to sit upright by the chocolate fountain. Ren was surprised the whole building didn't rattle with the motion.

There was a long silence in which he sat, pretending to be lost in thought. Perhaps if he stayed quiet long enough, Crow would leave. If the frog truly was a part of this reality, would it be enough for Ren to wish them gone?

Somehow the thought of Crow disappearing so suddenly filled him with unease.

How many things could Ren control in this world? How many more would there be if he fully accepted it?

There was a choice to be made here, and he hadn't made it yet.

In every choice there were a number of factors to take into account. His next step, wherever it might land, would set off a ripple effect, displacing everything and more. His friends, their families... Was it his place to decide who lived or died?

Eventually the frog shifted, pulling him out of his head. Crow had a ceramic cup in their hand, white accented with red in a way that almost felt familiar. Ren watched as they raised it to the fountain, tilted to catch the chocolate flowing from the bottom tier.

When the cup emerged, it was completely clean, with no sign of change save for the light steam rising from the top. Crow stopped on their way to take a sip.

"Forgive me for being rude," the frog said. "Would you like some coffee as well?"

Ren looked from his cup to the (chocolate) fountain, and then back again. He shook his head.

"Then I will move forward. I'm afraid it's an urgent matter."

It always was. "And of course this 'matter' has something to do with me?"

“Yes and no,” Crow said, then paused. “No and yes.”

Either way, Ren was going to be here a while. "Go on."

"I am well aware that you are the leader of the Phantom Thieves," Crow started, "but I am not here to seek a change of heart."

"So why are you here? I didn't know Maruki was manifesting giant frogs now."

He didn't have time to dance around another conversation. He had done plenty of that in this world, side-stepping friends and rivals with their expectant gazes and questions about deadlines fast approaching.

"Ha ha! You never cease to amuse me, Mr. Amamiya!" Crow set their cup on the floor and added another 'ha!' for good measure. With a webbed finger, they wiped a tear from the corner of their eye. "He may be busy with this new world of his, but what man would take on a frog for a messenger?"

Ren didn't have the energy to respond. Even without Morgana in his ear, he was ready to head to bed early. 

Though, hmm...

"Where is Morgana?" Ren asked, as if the two had formed a talking animal support group while he was gone.

The frog blinked, big eyes sinking into their head. "I am Morgana."

He couldn't argue with that. "... Okay."

"As I was saying," Morgana said, "I have come here to save Tokyo from destruction."

"Oh, but we’re kind of ..." Ren waved his hand in a tired gesture. "On it? Already?"

The frog seemed pleased. "What a relief! Congratulations on handling the giant worm beneath the Diet Building."

"The giant what now."

"The giant worm beneath the Diet Building," said Morgana.

Ren tried to remember if he ever saw anything worm-like wriggling around in Shido's palace. He didn’t like thinking about that place. "Look, Morgana—"

"Please," the frog said, raising a slimy finger. "Call me 'Crow.'"

"Look, Crow," Ren said. "If there are multiple entities threatening Tokyo, we're gonna need to be on the same page."

They nodded. "I agree. It is important that we reach a mutual understanding in as few or as many words possible. Though I would prefer few, as we have little time to spare. Now, some have said that 'understanding' is merely the—"

"Right," Ren cut in, "and what exactly is the threat?"

"The threat is real," Crow said solemnly. "It is as real and genuine as I am a frog. Anyone claiming otherwise (and therefore claiming that I am not a frog) would be nothing but pathetic trash. I would swat them like the fly they are!"

Maybe he should've accepted the offer for magic coffee.

"So," This conversation had turned his mental processes into slush. "There is a real threat that may or may not be related to a giant worm under the Diet Building. You are planning to stop some _ other  _ destruction of Tokyo, unrelated to my former high school therapist." Ren took a breath. "How will Tokyo be destroyed?"

And Crow said, in a grave tone, "Earthquake."

They did not elaborate. Instead, they picked up the cup from earlier and poured its entire contents into their mouth, pushing the coffee down with the help of their eyes. The room went still in the silence that followed.

It was only mildly unnerving. 

Ren almost wished it was more so. After nearly a year of Metaverse nonsense, prolonged eye contact with a giant frog barely made it into the top ten.

They went on staring at each other for a while longer, and then Crow decided it was time to speak.

"A very, very big earthquake. It will strike Tokyo three days from now, reducing buildings to rubble and people to corpses. Hundreds of thousands will be able to do nothing but lay there and die!"

"And you," Ren said, "have a plan to stop this earthquake?"

"Yes." The frog nodded. "You and I will go underneath the Diet Building to do mortal combat with Akechi."

…

"Again?" He thought they had moved past that. "He was fine the last time that I saw him."

(Which was two days ago, he did not add. A cold confrontation outside the jazz club, demanding answers while smiling faces passed them by.

_ Well, Leader?  _ Goro had said, mouth a hard line and eyes narrowed to keep the panic from spilling out. _ Lead. _ )

"Have you fought with the worm before?" The frog asked.

"No?" Now Ren wasn't sure. "You're talking about a real worm."

Crow nodded.

"And not a human boy."

They nodded again. "Yes. Akechi is a real, gigantic worm."

If only Futaba's bugs could've caught that.

"When he gets angry, the earth shakes," Crow continued. "And right now Akechi is filled with rage."

That makes two of them... though Goro would probably have some choice words if he ever found out that Ren had compared him to a big angry worm.

"Why is he mad?" Ren asked.

"I don't know," the frog said. "Nobody knows what Akechi is thinking in that murky head of his."

'Mood,' Ren thought before he could stop himself.

"It is lonely underground," Crow said after some time. "I'd guess that he is thinking of everything and nothing, all at once. When creatures walk the earth, the surface knows. Akechi feels it all, laying there and absorbing every vibration of impact, of ignorance and of injustice. He collects these sensations from the surface, replacing them with rage to store within. And when so much of it consists of hatred, the process is only made easier."

Ren needed to stop projecting his rival onto this giant worm.

“I do not wish to fight him,” Crow said, “but soon he will wake. The battle will be a lonely one, with neither praise nor sympathy. Still, when the time comes, we must be prepared.”

He mulled this over as best he could considering how close it was to his cat-enforced bedtime.

“This must be difficult for you to process.” Crow used their webbed hand to make a sweeping gesture. “To further aid your efforts, I shall prove my existence.”

“You don’t have to,” Ren said. He was a little concerned about what that entailed. “I believe you.”

“Are you quite sure? I am well versed in psychological terror.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ren said hastily.

The frog looked disappointed. “I suppose I’ll have to save my intimidation tactics for another time …”

“Glad we agree.”

Crow stood, a slow and awkward process as they peeled away from the floor limb by slimy limb. “Then I will take my leave.”

Ren was all for getting this giant frog out of his room, but… “I still don’t really know the plan?”

“You will.”

Then Crow flattened themself like a dried squid, flopping forward and disappearing down the stairs.

… Alright then.

—

In the end, Crow was right.

When the time came, Ren found himself approaching the established meeting place underneath the Diet Building.

Or at least, he thought he was under the Diet Building.

After the third (fourth? …fifth?) empty gray hallway, he wasn’t entirely sure. He’d be worried if it weren’t for the persistent pull that he felt—from his chest to his feet, like a string guiding him through every step.

It was this string that yanked taut and slackened all at once, stopping him in front of a heavy-looking door. He reached for the handle and…

Ren blinked.

In an instant, he was farther away from the door. The arm that had just been inching forward was now stationary, wrist resting atop the other on the metal table he had found himself seated behind. His winter layers had melted away sometime between now and then, leaving just the fabric of his school uniform for the cold to seep through. He wasn’t shivering, but he felt frozen all the same, stuck in place as a familiar sensation took the reigns.

_ Wait,  _ it said.

_ Soon you will wake. _

But Ren had forgotten the how’s and why’s and who’s. He was waiting, or he was being waited on. Was that a part of Crow’s plan?

He tried to imagine the giant frog making an appearance, taking on their dried squid form and slipping through the gap in the side of the door. He didn’t think that had happened before. But then again, Ren couldn’t quite remember the details of before, though he was certain that it had existed.

Surely Crow would arrive soon, and reveal a trap door hidden right in this very room. Together they would descend through the layers of the earth to the worm's resting place, just as they planned.

So Ren sat, waiting and waiting. 

And then a man entered the room.

He was a man that Ren recognized, though there was no fondness in his memory.

The man glinted in the low light of the interrogation room. He held contempt in every line of his body, malice at each point of connection. And in each shape that was formed, there was intent—clear and not to be argued with.

There was a gun in his hand, striking with its deep blacks and dark blues.

It was beautiful.

It was aimed at Ren.

The man did not shake or shiver or tremor as he held the gun. Around the grip, every curve of his fingers was a whispered demand. 

And with a final squeeze of the trigger,

Masayoshi Shido yelled.

—

When he woke up, everything had changed.

He found that he could sit up without pain, and as he did so he heard the support crates creaking from under his futon. The attic was dim—lit up only by the moon shining through the windows, and the faint light drifting up from downstairs.

"Look who decided to show up."

His breath caught in his throat. "Goro?"

"Don't look so surprised." He rolled his eyes. "What, were you expecting a giant worm?"

Yes.

"... no," Ren said.

Goro uncrossed his legs, leaning back in the chair by the desk. "Well how was the fight?"

"You know about that?"

"Yes," Goro said, like it was obvious. "Of course I do."

"It was ..." Ren frowned. How _ was  _ the fight? "I don't remember."

Goro scoffed, “It couldn’t have been much of a fight, then.”

"I didn't make it there," he said.

His rival fixed him with an expectant gaze. A question.

"Something stopped me on the way there,” Ren said. An answer, albeit a partial one.

Goro seemed to have sensed this half effort, and was unimpressed by it. “So you retreated.”

For his next words, Ren stared at a point over Goro’s shoulder.

“I’m not going back,” he said.

“What do you mean you’re not going back? Ren, you know that you have my—” He played at the edge of his scarf, and his glare softened as he tugged. “If you are not fit to handle it, _ I will. _ We need to do this.”

He couldn’t help the bit of desperation that crept in. “Do we?”

Such a simple phrase left words unspoken. Like string, he wound it up into a ball—to be caught, to be unraveled. But even for Goro, who knew him so well, a weak toss was easily missed.

“Then _ I  _ need to do this,” his rival said, scarf slack around his neck. “We can’t leave any loose ends.”

Ren said nothing, and in his silence Goro caught sight of the hidden meaning rolling away from him.

“This isn’t just about the earthquake, is it,” he said. There was no lilt to his tone—no question for Ren to half answer. “You don’t want to leave this world.”

“I don’t exactly want to stay,” he said weakly.

“But you don’t want to leave, either.” With a sharp pull, the scarf crashed into his lap. His next words were precise, a clean cut. “You have no intention of confronting Maruki.”

Ren couldn’t deny this. The confessions spilled like blood from his gaping wound of a mouth.

"The hallways were endless," he lied, feeling the bitter taste settle on his tongue. "That’s what stopped me. They just kept going and going and—You can’t do it. I couldn't have done it, Goro. Even if I tried."

"And did you?"

Another silent slice.

There was enough air trapped in his chest for him to choke on. "Goro, _ please.  _ I would've, Goro. I wanted to—"

His eyes dropped down to his lap, where he was clutching the scarf like a lifeline.

"Be honest, Ren," he said, voice worn through with resentment and fatigue. "You didn't."

His heart thudded in his chest, a painful reminder keeping time as he watched Goro's hands go limp. 

He didn't.

"Something stopped me," he said. And shame was a palm against his words, muffling them like strings. "And I let it."

"You let it." Goro’s voice shook, like a dam full to bursting with his rage, his hurt. "And you _ left. _ "

But Ren was here, wasn't he? And in his cowardice, he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

This assurance wouldn’t calm Goro, but he wanted to give it to him anyway. He wanted to hold him close and whisper to his heart until he accepted it as fact—

Ren was _ here. _ He had never left, and he would never leave.

—But the words stuck in his throat and stole his air along with it.

"And who else to adopt your brainless sentimentality than me?" He took in a shuddering breath. "This world goes on and on and I pass by each and every smiling face without consequence just to end up _ here. _ " Goro spits the word like it's poisoned. "Like your shitty cobweb storage unit is a hospital room, and I'm just the sap waiting for their—for _ you  _ to wake up."

“I’m awake,” Ren said, but he couldn’t move, and it faded in the silence.

Goro went on, quieter now. A mosaic of subdued and resigned. "I never read this much even as a child—unmoored, and with more time than possessions. But in this ‘perfect’ little reality, what else is there but time? Money is no issue. I have no responsibilities, and even less free will. If I neglect to return a book, I find that my deadlines have been extended. If I steal an item in front of a cashier, they _ thank me for paying. _ And if tomorrow I woke up and decided to reenact last October at Okumura’s fucking mansion, would dear old dad be back by breakfast?

“Erasing my mistakes—magicking away the consequences when I make _ more. _ That’s not atonement,” Goro ground out. “No matter how much your hack of a shrink wants it to be.” 

Ren felt like screaming, so he did—letters and meaning and punctuation all ripped out at once. That didn’t make sense. None of it did. 

And he told Goro so, yelling and yelling until he couldn’t anymore.

"I don't know why I even bother." Goro laughed then, a wet and broken thing that left shards on its way up. "As if _ Murakami  _ could bring you back when I couldn't."

Goro stood, and the scarf tumbled out of his lap as he took a step forward. The motion sent Ren spiraling, his eyes slamming shut at the impact. His head ached and ached, until a voice drifted over and all the tension vanished.

"You're tired," it said. "You can rest, now."

…

Ren opened his eyes to see that Crow had joined him. They were seated on the couch, the light of the attic flicked on and reflected in the slime of their skin.

"You're back," Ren said, and despite all the emotion from before, his voice came through without obstruction.

He clutched at his throat as if he could feel its previous strain, rubbed at his face only to find it dry. He had cried before, and was quite certain of it too. There were still tear stains littering the comforter, and across from him a chair had been knocked askew.

"Am I?" Crow tilted their head. "Or did I never leave? In a world of un-Frog, who's to say when a pure Frog comes and goes."

"I don't understand," said Ren, who had found that he didn't _ want  _ to anymore.

"Neither do I," said Crow.

He was struck with the sense of something gone awry. As if he was off-path somewhere, brushing past an important element and losing it forever. He wanted to find his way again, though he didn't know how. He had a feeling, however, that the existential ramblings of this giant frog held only a piece of the puzzle that he wished to solve.

"Tell me something, Crow."

"As you wish," they said. "After all, there are those who say that 'understanding' is merely the—"

"The sum total of our misunderstandings, yes." Even after the words had flown out, surprising him to an extent, Ren couldn't remember where he had heard them.

"Precisely." Crow nodded. "So ask away. In the aftermath of our battle, we now have the time to partake in such mental calculations."

He needed a moment to think. The frog hadn't given him an ultimatum (as was par for the course), nor had they presented any time restraint or question limit.

Yet Ren couldn't shake the feeling that he would soon lose ground. He had to find a way to steer the conversation.

Well, first things first. "Is Akechi dead?"

The second Ren said that he had to hold back a wince. He knew what he meant, but... he thought back to the engine room, to the empty weeks spent afterward.  _ Too soon. _

"Akechi the worm is not dead."

Their phrasing had him reaching for the glove under his pillow. If the leather creaked between his fingers as he asked his next question, that was between him and god.

"And Akechi the... human?"

Crow didn't seem phased by the apparent non sequitur. "Akechi the human is not dead."

Ren tried not to flood the room with relief. Goro Akechi was alive. That was one less thing to panic over, and one more question answered.

His eyes caught on the chair by the desk.

... Or not. Someone had been here earlier. He could feel it.

It was easy to assume that it was Goro—and with Maruki’s deadline fast approaching, it wasn’t exactly hard to imagine a visit ending in tears. The memory loss was more than a little concerning, though.

Something was wrong. This much was true, but the more he tried to remember the details, the harder his head pounded. 

"Please," said Crow. "Cloak yourself in sleep once more. You'll get better."

“I’ll get… better,” Ren echoed.

“You don’t want to think anymore,” said Crow. Their tone had changed somehow, reassuring him in a way that felt eerily familiar. “You don’t _ have  _ to think anymore.”

And that was what he had wanted, wasn't it? To forgo decision, to delegate action. To stay exactly where he was, for any movement could send ripples that he wasn't prepared to deal with.

He had remembered far too late that in this world, his wish was a command.

"I need to," Ren said, staring straight into the frog's bulging eyes. "My happiness isn't here, Maruki."

The frog stared back at him. Ren could feel the air shifting around them, and in the space between two breaths he was talking to someone else entirely.

"There's this feeling I have," Crow said, "that this will be over soon."

"Is that good?" Ren asked, no longer fearing the answer.

"'What is, is what must be,'" the frog quoted. They paused to consider this. "I suppose you wouldn't remember that one. It was one of the earlier books, after all."

Ren decided not to waste energy deciphering that particular statement. He felt that something, somewhere, had started a ripple effect, and he was preparing to be moved.

"I guess this is goodbye, Crow."

"It very well may be," they said, waving a webbed hand for the last time. "Though it is a shame that you didn't get to experience the bugs."

... Ren didn't want to know.

—

The next time that he blinked, light filled the room.

By his bedside was Goro, who sat close enough that Ren could see the way his eyelashes stuck together in clumps, wet and glittering in the sunlight. Goro held his hand tight in one of his own, though he didn't react when Ren squeezed back.

"Wake up," he said, a wish into a command. " _ Wake up. _ "

Ren did.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi !! This really only came about because I read Haruki Murakami's ["Super-Frog Saves Tokyo"](https://www.gq.com/story/haruki-murakami-super-frog-saves-tokyo-full-story) and had so many feelings about its energy that I needed to try and channel it into a fic ahasjkdha  
> If you managed to make it all the way through this clusterfuck, thank you so much !! I swear it wasn't meant to be this long and convoluted   
> (๑ • _ •)ゞ  
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/abtdela) if you ever wanna talk or demand that I explain myself <3


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